The Worst Fanfic Ever
by JinxTheBadLuckGirl
Summary: From the dark corner of the fandom of BCB, this monstrosity emerged. PauloxBitches.


**I'm writing it as I go. No sort of story in my mind, it's really just improv. Hope you enjoy! c:**

**Plus this is awfully silly. Written as parody.**

"I came to kick ass and fuck bitches." Paulo took off the sunglasses and stuck them in his leather jacket. "And I'm all out of ass."

"OOO PAULO!" The ladies would scream, all rushing their way to get on top of the Mercedes Benz. They would go as far to claw eachother just to get a wiff of Paulo's beautiful stank. The Babe, as he would call her, since he can't remember the name of all his bitches, started to climb the Benz.

"Wow, WOW, The Babe, don't scratch!" His leather boot kicked the Khao Manee off the vehicle.

"B-but, Mistah Paulo! I NEED this! I've been taking care of the kids all day!" She pointed back at the minivan/clown car full of their kittens. "C'mon, PLEASE!" Lucy got to her knees and gave the best pleading look.

"Sorry, the Babe. I'm feeling that I need some color today." She looked down. The other girls screamed to the top of their lungs and trampled Lucy into the dirt. Paulo took out a ciggerate, took one puff (he was so amazing he didn't even need to light it. His AWESOMENESS did.) and threw it the plethora of teenage women. A slight chuckle, and the ladies scramed to pick it up.

"MISTER PAULO! I GOT IT! LEMME BE YOUR LOVER!" A tuxedo cat emerged from the throng, waving around the ciggerate away from everybody. "I WON!"

"Tsk." Paulo shook his magnificent head, the orgasmic fur shaking with it. The ladies screamed again. "Now Simease-"

"I'm a tuxe-"

"DO YOU SPEAK TO ME WITHOUT SPOKEN TO?" Everyone fell silent. He put his aviators on. "I'm sorry to do this Simease, really, you were the perfect loli for my older needs. But..." He leaned back, looking behind the car.

"NO MISTER PAULO! I'LL BE GOOD! I SWEAR!" Jasmine took the same stance as Lucy before. "PLEASE!"

"David-" a rabid, brown mutt pounced toward the group. Foaming from the mouth and patches of fur missing, he growled. "Sick her."

"NOOOOOO!" By the silver strands of hair, Jasmine was dragged off by the animal. Everyone was silent once more. A crunch sounded. They recoiled, and looked back at the god among them.

"Now, now, ladies! Don't be sad! _I'm _still here!" Again with the screams. Paulo stroked the paint job on his Benz, and forwned. A smudge from David had formed on his Pussy Wagon. "Hm." He licked his finger, the ladies swooned, and he wiped the smugde gone. Paulo looked out to the crowd. _Hmm_, he thought mentally. There's Pink Bangs, Purple, Dog, The one that looked like she was six, and other girls he probably never met. He looked farther into the distance. The Babe was just starting to climb into her minivan/clown car, and she looked back at Paulo. She smirked.

"RELEASE THE KRAKENS!" A girl pulled off her wig to reveal her face. Abbey! Paulo's arch nemesis commanded The Babe. And with that, Lucy opened the sliding door to the wave of orange and white children. Paulo looked on with fear as if a hurricane was crashing in the distance. The ladies tried to climb the Mercedes, but Paulo's leather boots wouldn't allow. And soon, they were all covered in some sticky substance (probably from candy,) vomit, and dirt. All of them cried and ran away, hiding their ugly mugs so their wanna-be lover wouldn't see.

"ABBEY! You faggot!" Paulo jumped off the car and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Looks like we meet again."

"Mm, quite." The Abbyssinian twilded his curly 'stache. "But it's time YOU become the faggot!" He pulled off his top hat and came out a gray school girl.

"Woo! How's THAT gonna make me a-...uh..." He pulled the aviators off. "MICHEAL?"

"Oh, you KNOW IT, babe!" The girl-ahem-BOY teased. He was chained, but it was obvious Mike wanted to be free to get under Paulo's skin.

Abbey lifted his lapel of the suit he wore, and underneath was a potion.

"NO! NOT THE CARSON EFFECT!" Paulo fell to his knees and put his head in his hands. "ANYTHING but the Carson Effect!"

"Mm, sorry my dear faggot. But it seems that you," Abbey threw the potion her Paulo's knees, "WILL LOSE THAT TIGHT ASS OF YOURS TONIGHT!"

"NOOOOOO!" The potion started to morph Paulo. Soon his leather clad self was becoming a twin costume of Mike's. His voice got higher, his skirt got shorter, until finally...The Carson Effect took in. Paulo looked at himself. "Hm. Ya know, this ain't half bad! It shows off my muscles."

Abbey chuckled again. "Mm, they do. But will they protect you from THIS!" He took Micheal off the chain, and soon enough, Paulo was smothered by hot Korat lovin'.

Lucy stared. "Fuck this shit." And she abanded the forum thread, getting up from the desk chair and switched off her computer. "The fuckin' internet, I swear."


End file.
